09 February 2016 - 04:32, by Medialore LLC
D ear Mr. Lobster,
It’s been a pretty tough beginning of the week for you it appears. After being introduced to the finest shadesters of the Twitterverse, you now find yourselves trending in all the wrong directions in a world clearly unknown to you.
Unlike those twitter meanies, media instigators, and “I told you so” marketing agencies that have raised viral hell for you over the past few days, the folks here at Medialore are going to defend your lame post game response to possibly the greatest PR plug ever witness in the digital age.
Why would we do that, you ask? Well because we care Mr. Lobster, we care. We care to tell you that you can’t just occupy the social media space with accounts ran by 50 year old archaeology majors. We also care to tell you that no brand is truly safe from the shade casting of social media, no matter how relevant you and Long John Silver’s were in the 90’s.
We love your cheddar biscuits, we really do! And I bet everyone making fun of you would stop if you tweet the announcement of free “Bey” biscuits as a Valentine's Day gift to all the girls who bring their man in for a job well done (if you know what we mean *wink*). Who knows, you may even get Beyonce to bring in Jay after yet another successful night.
So you see, that’s is how twitter works. Beyonce plugs your brand in a song, you avoid embarrassing yourself by not saying responses like this, and you instead cleverly announce a promotion using the upcoming love/hookup holiday to nail Beyonce’s line – no pun intended.
Hey, fortunately for you there’s plenty of time left to tweet about these free “Bey” biscuits. No, we aren’t suggesting you do this for our own benefit (although we will include biscuit requests in our invoice), we suggest you do this to stop the bleeding, capitalize on a great opportunity and appear somewhat millennial. And if that doesn’t work, at least people will leave your stores with a cheddary smile this Sunday.
P.S. You might want to have your twitter page linked onto you homepage—or anywhere on your website for that matter.